Suffering

And after you have suffered a little while, the God of all grace, who has called you to his eternal glory in Christ, will himself restore, confirm, strengthen, and establish you.

1 Peter 5:10, ESV

   The reality that I am graduated from college is yet to hit me.  I think it will kick in once the fall quarter begins and I, for the first time since I was 4-years-old, don't have to go to class.  With one chapter closing in my life, another one begins as I step into the role of a provider, a  protector, and a leader.  My latest thoughts stem from studying for the nursing state board exam, a new determination to take steps towards becoming healthy, preparing for what's next with avi, and a beautiful, Godly woman coming into my life.

   I have found that losing my way is always a very quick, almost painless act that requires little to no effort.  In contrast, it takes a longer time to find my way back than to lose it.  Each step I take trying to find my way back is a tiring task of re-tracing and in a sense, re-living my mistaken direction.  The same principle seems to apply to our personal struggles.  All it takes is one wrong decision, one moment where we lose touch with wisdom and our lives are hurled into suffering.  The process of finding our bearings can be more painful than the instant we lost our way.  And we hate suffering, am I correct?  We are quick to alleviate our physical and mental distress with medications and interventions.  Pain is seen as evil, the opposite of good. Yet, we dismiss the fact that pain is the reason we know something is wrong.

   How often do I pray to have my circumstances changed, my suffering alleviated, instead of praying to know the one to whom I am making my requests known?  Please understand, I don't believe that every bit of suffering or circumstance has some deep meaning or some profound lesson.  I'm a fallen person living in a fallen world full of fallen people. Suffering sucks no matter how you spin it.  However, I propose that a life I would want to live is one where my actions are unfazed by suffering; where my resolve is uncompromising despite circumstances.  The validity of an individual's pursuit in life can be accurately weighed by how much can be subtracted from their life for them to lose interest in that pursuit.  Now I ask myself, is my kingdom composed of cards that crash with one piece out of place?  Or clothed with mud, blood, and tears alone do I press on?